'The Cabbage Soup' diet aka 'Death by Cleanse'
This fast fix fad diet only lasts for 7 days and promises weight loss of up to 5kg in one week!
'Wow!' You say, 'sign me up, its a miracle!' I said, 'and it's only for one week!'
Let me tell you something, one week lasts a looonnnnnng time when you're starving hungry and start eating your finger nails for sustenance...
Celebrities that have survived the Cabbage Soup diet or as some say 'cleanse' (to try and make it sound more fashion) include Liz Hurley, Sarah Michelle Gellar and Jamie Pressly
I really don't know how Buffy managed to slay any vampires without carbs but hey, she looks great
So here's the deal,
Make heinous soup by combining a whole cabbage, 6 brown onions, 2 green capsicums, 3 carrots, a whole head of celery, 1L of water and vegetable stock
There are different variations of the recipe but none that are any more exciting or bearable then the other
Day one - Eat only fruit, all the fruit you want except banana
Drink unsweetened tea, black coffee, cranberry juice, and water
Eat as much soup as you like
This is a picture actually posted on the mother ship site
......just in case you need help identifying a peeled banana
The problem with this diet is that the soup tastes revolting and 'as much as you want' is probably none at all
I tried to eat at least one bowl a day...
It also makes you fart all the time, yay
Breakfast -
1x apple
1/2 rockmelon
Lunch -
Bowl of soup
2x apple
1x pear
Dinner -
1x bowl of soup
4x raspberries
I went to bed feeling totally unsatisfied and empty but positive about some major weight loss that should miraculously take place when I woke up in the morning...
Day two - Stuff, stuff, stuff yourself!! Eat as much as you want or fresh, raw or cooked vegetables of your choice. Stay away from dry beans, peas and corn. Reward yourself with a big baked potato with butter at the end of the day
Eat as much soup as you like but no fruit today
Breakfast -
I skipped breakfast because I couldn't stomach the soup or vegetables first thing in the morning
Lunch -
Soup!
1x celery sticks
2x handful of spinach leaves
1x carrot
Dinner -
Soup.... again
This is the day that really pissed me off -
No one likes to "stuff, stuff, stuff!" themselves with tomato, celery, lettuce (with no dressing) and carrot sticks...
Seriously I felt like brachiosaurus trying to eat my body weight in leaves - and I was still hungry
No amount of empty salad is going to fill me up
I also don't think a big bland potato with lashings of butter is much of a 'reward'
You also don't have any energy or will power to cook the bastard, so I didn't bother
I went to bed at 8pm (hungry) so I didn't have to think about food
Day three - Combine days one and two, eat as much fruit and veg as you like, no potato
Eat the soup at least once today
Breakfast -
1x apple
Lunch -
soup
Dinner -
soup
This was the day that really started to mess with me
I woke up lethargic and angry - even though I had had an early night
I found it really hard to do basic actions like shower, think... talk
I was so over eating pointless amounts of fruit and veg that I tended to avoid eating at all
I nearly threw up after dinner from the smell of the soup and it still makes me gag now whenever I think about it
I also had to go to a very stressful and important meeting that night and ended up nearly crying, not making sense and getting angry at everyone because they had bought pizza and wine along to rub in my face
To top it all off I got my period and didn't know if I was going to die from the pain or hunger
Basic senses like seeing and happiness started to leave my body as though a dementor had come and sucked my soul from my body -
I hope to never experience this day again
Determined not to throw in the towel after day three, I left the girls to drink and went to bed at 8.30pm
Day four - Eat as many as 8 bananas and drink as many glasses of skim milk as you like, along with your soup. This day is suppose to lessen your desire for sweets
Breakfast -
banana smoothie with 2 bananas and 500ml of skim milk
1x skinny flat white
Lunch
2x bananas
Dinner
banana smoothie with 1 banana and 250ml of milk
I'm happy to say that I am still alive and I woke up to the day I had been looking forward to the most -
It was so good to get up and drink something that actually satisfied me and gave me energy
It doesn't sound like a lot of 'food' but compared to what I was eating the previous 3 days it was a banana flavoured God send
Friends went out that night but I didn't think I would be much fun, following them around like a pale, hungry, zombie
I couldn't bring myself to soup today, I was on such a high from the bananas and couldn't bare the thought of eating it
It's like they (the Cabbage Cult Lords) give you this day so you don't eat your arm - I was getting pretty desperate..
Day five - You may have up to 500gms and a large tin or up to 6 fresh tomatoes. Drink at least 6 to 8 glasses of water on this day to flush the uric acid from your body. Eat the soup at least once today
Breakfast
100grms tuna
1x tomato
1x skinny fw
Lunch
180grms of tuna
Dinner
180grms of tuna
1x tomato
4x vodka and soda with fresh lemon (not allowed)
Firstly, who the f*ck eats a nice big tin of cold tomatoes? Was this some sort of test to see if you were stupid enough?
I don't eat beef or 'broiled' chicken either, whatever the hell that is (it sounds gross,) so I substituted both for tinned tuna
I love tuna and use to eat it in the good old days, so it was nice to have some comforting, nolstagic food.... except now I am starving and it seems to fall on an empty stomach
But hey, I'm not complaining because at least I 'm getting some protein and my vision is returning
Everyday this stupid diet is telling me to 'eat the soup, eat the soup, join us, eat the soooouuuppp!' like the lost souls from the other side of the Cabbage Cult
I chucked the remaining soup in the bin and nearly vomitted on top of it
I'll finish the eating plan without it...
Day six - Eat beef and vegetables today. You can even have 2-3 steaks with fresh vegetables or salad. NO BAKED POTATO. Eat your soup at least once
Breakfast
1x skinny flat white
Lunch
180grms of tuna
Dinner
1 piece of salmon
salad with no dressing
birthday cake (oops)
5x vodka and soda with fresh lime
I woke up tired this morning, probably from the vodka, suprisingly I'm not very hungry at all
I need a coffee first thing in the morning though... which I'm probably not suppose to have but I had to work
It was a friends birthday hence the cake and vodkas
I think I did pretty well to just have the salmon for dinner though and the salad with the no dressing!
It's really hard to go out on this diet, especially to a birthday party and not eat and drink what everyone else is
I would've felt rude if I didn't drink or eat cake
When you're on the cabbage soup diet, you often feel like you have to over compensate in personalty and enthusiasm because the food you are eating is so bland it actually makes other people feel a little bored watching you
Start weight - 70kg
End weight - 66.7kg
Total loss - 3.3kg
Was it worth the weight loss?
Thats a tough question, the results were good but I feel as though I have been abused in some way
I don't recommend this diet, I personally couldn't stomach the soup past day 3, so I don't know If I even did it 'properly.'
I think if I had stuck to it better, I would have lost more weight as the diet promised but would have also compromised my happiness even more
The Cabbage Soup Cult doesn't recommend that you do this diet longer then the 7 days and 'no psychical activity' is recommended (because you would actually die)
The Cabbage Soup Diet is extreme and very tough to stick to - it's also gross
But hey if you like being dizzy, grumpy, blind, antisocial and want to look like Jamie Pressly, go for it
Jaimee Pressly went on this diet to loose weight for her 30th birthday party
She completed the death cleanse not once, but twice, in a row
She lost 32lbs (14.5kg) in two weeks;
which is considered 'unhealthy' and 'dangerous' by the medical authorities
I think she should be sent some kind of award for living
Well she gets an awesome body but it was definitely earnt, not given
She has a great box gap
"I lost the first 32 pounds (14.5kg) [of baby weight] by my 30th birthday, which we celebrated in Vegas. We had pool parties, and I was not about to be chunky. I did the cabbage soup diet twice in a row. It lasts six days, and you eat cabbage soup three to four times a day. But one day, you can also eat up to eight bananas."
She's definitely sugar coating it for you, its sucks.
http://www.cabbage-soup-diet.com/
http://aboutcabbagesoupdiet.com/
http://www.fitsugar.com/Jaime-Pressly-Tells-Health-Magazine-She-Did-Cabbage-Soup-Diet-8513246
